Hungry for entertainment? Tired of the same old, same old? Then call your cable firm today and order The Seafood Channel. It’s true, and it’s well-known. The whole premise is a television digital camera focused on an aquarium full of exotic fish. That’s it. You probably could call it “the perfect pet. inch You can look at them anytime. You don’t have to give food to them. You don’t have to clean them. And, best of all, when they go belly-up, you don’t have to flush them.
I guess if people want to watch a bunch of fish swimming around, why not? (“Hey, honey, bring in the chips. I think the angel fish is about to swim through the castle. “)
It probably would be considered a good idea to break up the tedium with maybe a little action-adventure. You know, lower a couple of plastic deep sea scuba divers on strings, with the Jaws style playing in the background and maybe a voice-over. “We’re cautiously crossing the ground of this dangerous Land of Atlantis. Bob, look out for that sunfish! Ahhhh!!!! ” maybe a little underwater turbulence with the aid of an eggbeater. Just view the ratings climb and the price card go up.
The Fish Approach may, or may not, be part of the 500 channel grand expansion planned to take place in the future. If so, here are some of the channels I would like to see proposed:
The Nose Hair Channel – Can you hear the promo for this one particular? It’s The Nose Hair Channel. View as it grows and grows. If the ratings don’t improve, we’re going to pull it.
The Brady Channel : Watch every possible episode that The Brady Bunch made. Not only that, but watch them in every language conceivable. German born – “Achtung, Jan Brady! Dieses bootin Bobby vit un goofball. ” French – “Bonjour, wednesday pere. Bobby est une goofball. ” Spanish – “Que pasa, Alice. Donde esta la goofball, Bobby?
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” Jive – “What it is, homeboy? You best be tellin’ me where that chump Bobby B. be. ”
Certainly one of my favorites is The Celebrity Belly Funnel. Not quite as mesmerizing as The Nasal area Hair Channel. On Celebrity Tummy, contestants will actually guess which the celebrity is by hearing disgusting gurgles and digestive sounds from their stomachs. (In stereo and HD, where available. )
Of course , included in the 500 channel selections you will see offerings for the kiddies, like The Pet Channel. This show will feature a variety of shows starring our furry friends. Example: Leave It To Pussy. First up – Beaver learns how to gnaw through a stack associated with knotty pine and how to carve their initials on a weeping willow through a picket fence. Another favorite is usually Doggie Howser, M. D. : Tonight, Doggie treats a milking cow who is lactose intolerant.
One more channel for the young is The Mom Channel. The Mom Channel is for children of all ages. It’s mainly for those who may not live close enough to maintain contact with their parents. Some of the shows on The Mom Channel include, “Sit Upward, Don’t Slouch, ” “Shut Upward And Go To Sleep Up There, inch and my personal favorite, “So, Do You Also Care That I Went Through Thirty-Nine Hrs Of Labor With You? ”
For you personally sports fans out there, there will be The MSG/Tarragon Channel. Spanning the globe to create you sporting events no other sports route dares to bring you, including, “The Ginder Toss Championship, ” “The International Cockroach Roundup, ” and another the advertisers are sure to line up to get, “The Annual Berlin Bagel Bake-off. “